Complete the story by making it more exciting and choosing an ending.
Next
Hi! Welcome to the team. We'd like your help getting a new comic book ready to publish.

To be honest, it's not very good. The story isn't finished, and the writing is very flat and uninteresting. We're hoping you'll be able to improve it.
Next Back Replay
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
Next Back Replay
It's not a bad story, but as you can see, it's not finished. We don't know what happens in the end. Select the three possible endings and choose the one you think would be most dramatic. Then select OK. That'll make an interesting
ending … plenty of drama
for our readers.
Our illustrator has drawn a great
picture for the end of the story. Now
you just need to make the narrative
more exciting.
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
A boat appears and takes them on board.
A small plane sees them and calls the coastguard.
They paddle with one oar and reach the shore the next morning.
The end
The end
The end
Next Back Replay End 1 End 2 End 3 OK
Good writers edit their work to make sure they've chosen the best possible words and phrases to express their meaning. You'll look at three ways to improve the narrative about Brad and Susan:
  • by adding adjectives to make noun groups
  • by changing the action verbs
  • by linking events with text connectives.
Next Back Replay
One way to make a narrative more effective is to tell the readers more about each noun. That way they get a better picture of what the noun is like.

You can do this by adding adjectives to some of the nouns.
Close Replay Adjectives An adjective is a describing word that tells you more about a noun.

Adjectives can describe:
• size (big, small, enormous,    tiny)
• colour (red, green, purple)
• any other features of a noun.
Let's take the noun 'dog' and add adjectives to describes its size, colour and temper.

For example:

a big, black, angry dog

or

a tiny, white, friendly dog
Next Back Replay
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
The end
The end
The end
Next Back About adjectives
Start with the first scene.

Select an adjective for the space in the sentence.

Look at the options and choose the one that helps to describe the noun.
Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a       small      boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a small boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. What kind?
That's not it.

Find an adjective that says the boat is neither very big nor very small.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'small'. This tells the reader that the boat is neither very big nor very small.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
Here's the second scene.

Select an adjective for the space in the sentence.

Look at the options and choose the one that helps to
describe the noun.
Brad pulled on the                      motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' Brad pulled on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' What kind?
That's not it.

Find the adjective that tells you about the type of motor cable in the boat.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'outboard'. In this sentence, the word acts as an adjective telling the reader more about the type of motor cable.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
Here's the third scene.

Select the best adjectives for the space in the sentence.

Look at the options and choose the ones that help to describe the noun.
'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the                    oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. What kind?
That's not it.

Find the adjectives that tell how many oars and what they are made from.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'two wooden'. These words tell how many oars and what type they are.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
Here's the fourth scene.

Select an adjective for the space in the sentence.

Look at the options and choose the one that helps to describe the noun.
They started to row towards the                    shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' They started to row towards the distant shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' What kind?
That's not it.

Find the adjective that says the shore is far away.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'distant'. This word tells the reader the shore is far away.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
This is the last scene you need to find adjectives for. Look at the options and choose the best adjectives to describe the noun.
A                   shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?' A huge grey shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?' What kind?
That's not it.

Find the adjectives that say what size and colour the shark is.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'huge grey'. These adjectives tell what size and colour the shark is.
Well done!

The adjectives you added help make the nouns clearer.

Now let's look at another way to make the story more exciting.
Another way to make a story more exciting is to choose strong action verbs to describe what's happening. Next Back Replay About action verbs
Close Replay Action verbs Action verbs tell what the characters do, or the things that happen to them.

The best action verbs bring the action to life as though we can really see it.
For example, let's change the action verb in the sentence:

He went down the street.

to

He raced down the street.

This makes the action sound more urgent and exciting.
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
The end
The end
The end
Next Back About action verbs
Now choose action verbs to make this scene more interesting.

Select an action verb that clearly shows what happens in this sentence.
Brad                   on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.'
Brad tugged on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.'
Did what?
That's not it.

Find an action verb that says Brad pulled very hard.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'tugged' because that describes how hard Brad pulled.
Good work!

Now select Next.
Here's the next scene.

Select an action verb that clearly describes the action in this sentence.
'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad                    the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad slotted the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and                    them into the water. 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad slotted the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and slipped them into the water.
Did what? Did what?
That's not it.

Find an action verb that describes how Brad put the oars into the slots.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'slotted'. This action verb says that Brad put the oars into the slots.
That's not it.

Find the verb that clearly tells what Brad did with the oars.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'slipped'. This action verb clearly tells what Brad did with the oars.
Good choice!

Now select a strong action verb for the next space in the text.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
This is the last scene you need to find action verbs for. Select strong verbs that clearly describe the action in this sentence.
A huge grey shark                     beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?' A huge grey shark surfaced beside the boat and                   off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?' A huge grey shark surfaced beside the boat and chomped off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
Did what? Did what?
That's not it.

Find the action verb that clearly tells what the shark did.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'surfaced'. This action verb clearly tells what the shark did.
That's not it.

Find an action verb that clearly tells what the shark did with the oar in one bite.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'chomped'. The shark bit off the oar in one bite.
Good choice!

Now select an action verb for the next space in the text.
Well done!

The verbs you chose help to make the action more exciting.

Now select Next to find out about another way to improve the text.
The last thing we're going to look at to make the narrative more effective, is the use of text connectives. These show how the events in the narrative are linked. Next Back Replay About text connectives
Close Replay Text connectives Text connectives can tell us in what order the events happened, or what caused them. We can write two sentences like this:

She wanted to find her dog.
she put an ad in the paper.

Or we can add the text connective 'so' to the second sentence to show how the two events are connected.

She wanted to find her dog. So she put an ad in the paper.
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
The end
The end
The end
Next Back About Text connectives
Over to you! Add some text connectives to show when or why events happened.

Choose the best text connective to add to this sentence.
                            Brad tugged on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' So Brad tugged on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.'
Text connective
That's not it.

Select the text connective that shows Brad had listened to what Susan said.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'so'. This shows that Brad pulled the cord after Susan said thay should go back.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
Here's the next scene.

Choose the best text connective to show the order of Brad's actions to get them back to shore.
'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.'                              Brad slotted the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and slipped them into the water.
Text connective
That's not it.

Select the text connective that shows the first thing Brad did to get back to shore.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'first'. This text connective shows this is the first thing Brad did.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' First Brad slotted the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and slipped them into the water.
Here's the third scene.

Choose the best text connective for this sentence.
                            they started to row towards the distant shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' Then they started to row towards the distant shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?'
Text connective
That's not it.

Choose a text connective that shows this event happened next.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'then'. This connective shows that this happened next.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
This is the last scene you need to find a text connective for.

Choose the best text connective for this sentence.
                           a huge grey shark surfaced beside the boat and chomped off one of the oars. 'Oh
no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
All at once a huge grey shark surfaced beside the boat and chomped off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
Text connective
That's not it.

Choose a text connective that shows the happened suddenly.
Still not right.

The best choice is 'all at once'. This text connective shows that this event happened suddenly.
Good choice!

Now select Next.
Great work!

The changes you've made have really improved the narrative.

Now it's time to work on the ending.
Next Back Replay
The story so far ... Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars into the rowlocks and put them into the water. They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad!' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
The end
The end
The end
Next Back Replay
Now you need to write the ending. It should
follow on from the story so far and be
written in the same sort of language.
Type in a sentence to say how the
story ends.
Next Back Replay Final story That's an interesting ending! Look at how the changes you've made have improved the story. It's almost ready to publish. Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a small boat. 'We should think about heading back if we want to get home before dark,' said Susan. So Brad tugged on the outboard motor cable, but the motor refused to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start. I think we're out of fuel.' 'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long way, but I'm sure we can make it.' First Brad slotted the two wooden oars into the rowlocks and slipped them into the water. Then they started to row towards the distant shore. 'Oh, Brad,' asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?' All at once a huge grey shark surfaced beside the boat and chomped off one of the oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?' Type your conclusion here Original story Brad and Susan had spent the day fishing from a boat.
'We should think about heading back if we want to get
home before dark,' said Susan.

Brad pulled on the motor cable, but the motor refused
to start. 'Oh no!' he exclaimed. 'The motor won't start.
I think we're out of fuel.'

'We'll have to row back,' said Brad. 'I know it's a long
way, but I'm sure we can make it.' Brad put the oars
into the rowlocks and put them into the water.

They started to row towards the shore. 'Oh, Brad,'
asked Susan. 'Do you really think we can do this?'

A shark came up beside the boat and bit off one of the
oars. 'Oh no!' cried Susan. 'Brad! What will we do?'
Publish Back Replay Cover 1 Cover 2 Cover 3 Cover 4 Cover 5 Cover 6
Your final job is to create the cover.

• Type in a title.
• Select a cover illustration.
• Type in your name as the editor.

When the cover is ready, select Publish.
Print Back Replay
Your comic book looks fantastic! I'm sure it'll be a bestseller. You can print your own copy if you want.

Thanks for all your help!