Super stories
The Abandoned
House
Verbs and adverbs
N e x t
Hi!

Welcome to Super Stories
Incorporated. I'm Dave Briggs,
the publishing director.
B a c k N e x t
Have you been told your role here?

You're going to be my editor. Your
job is to read through some of the
new stories we want to publish and
make them more exciting.
B a c k N e x t
Some of our stories are a little … dull.

It's your task to make the text and illustrations in them more vivid and engaging.
B a c k N e x t
Let's get started.
B a c k N e x t
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
The
Abandoned
House
B a c k
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
His heart beating, Miles walked through the undergrowth till he could see the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He jumped onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
B a c k
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
He went into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people looking at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he held the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.
B a c k
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, standing before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes had a ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.
B a c k
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and got around the throat.

As Miles tried to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles got his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.
B a c k
Here's one of our stories. It's a horror story that should be really gripping, but some parts of the story are a bit flat.

Read it and see what you think.
Through the door and across the porch Miles ran, his breath catching in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he saw the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and looked back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
B a c k D o n e
As you can see, it's not bad. There's some good scary atmosphere, but the action could be much more thrilling. Some of the verbs and adverbs need changing. That's where you come in.

Let's begin.
B a c k N e x t
The first words I'd like you to edit are the verbs.

So … what makes a good verb?
B a c k N e x t
Verbs are the words that tell what happens in a story and how people think and talk.

'Run' is a verb, and so are 'jumped', 'scream' and 'saw'. We can choose verbs that make our readers feel a particular way about the action, such as scared or very tense.
B a c k N e x t
Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of verbs below changes how the reader thinks about who or what is involved in this scene. One choice is much more exciting than the other.
' She rode down the hill.'
' She raced down the hill.'
B a c k N e x t
Select the book to begin!
The
Abandoned
House
B a c k
Select a verb to edit it.
His heart beating, Miles through the undergrowth till he could the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a verb to edit it.
He into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a verb to edit it.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes a ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a verb to edit it.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and him around the throat.

As Miles to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select a verb to edit it.
Through the door and across the porch Miles , his breath catching in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road he the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
D o n e

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Congratulations! That's all of the verbs completed. That certainly sounds a lot better!

Select Next to go to the next task.
B a c k N e x t
The next words I'd like you to edit are the adverbs.

So … what makes a good adverb?
B a c k N e x t
Adverbs are linked to verbs and tell more about them.

'Quickly' is an adverb, and so are 'nervously', 'soon' and 'sadly'. We can choose adverbs to show how, when or where a verb is done. Adverbs help to build suspense and help us understand how a character is feeling.
B a c k N e x t
Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of adverbs below changes how the reader thinks about what's happening in this scene.
' He looked happily at the
young boy. '
' He looked threateningly at the
young boy. '
B a c k N e x t
Select the book to begin choosing adverbs.
The
Abandoned
House
B a c k
Select an adverb to edit it.
His heart beating , Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He crept onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adverb to edit it.
He stepped into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people starting at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adverb to edit it.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adverb to edit it.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and grabbed him around the throat.

As Miles struggled to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Select an adverb to edit it.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he spied the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
D o n e

That's not the best choice.

Choose a verb that shows
that Miles is creeping through
the garden.

OKTry again
Congratulations! That's all of the adverbs completed. Your changes have made the story much more dramatic and scary.

Select Next to go to the next task.
B a c k N e x t
The last part of the story I'd like you to work on are the illustrations.

So … what makes a good illustration?
B a c k N e x t
Illustrations need to be dynamic and help tell the story.

Sometimes illustrations exactly represent the words in the story. Or they can show things the words don't say, so you get more out of a story.
B a c k N e x t
Here's an example.

Look at how the choice of illustration bellow changes the reader's image of what's happening in the story.
'The terrifying shark was thrashing violently towards the unfortunate swimmers'.
B a c k N e x t
Select the book to begin!
The
Abandoned
House
B a c k
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people starting blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was completely surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
Select an illustration from the Gallery to try it on the page.

Select Check when you have chosen the illustration you want to use.
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he spied the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered uncertainly back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
Check

That's not the best choice.

Look for an illustration that makes the mansion and garden look overgrown and creepy.

Try again
D o n e
Congratulations! You've chosen illustrations that really highlight the horror of this story.

The book is now finished!
B a c k N e x t
You've learned how to make a story tense and exciting by choosing effective verbs, adverbs and illustrations.

You can use this knowledge to improve all your stories.
B a c k N e x t
Thanks for your help. I think it'll be a bestseller!

You can read or print your finished story, or select Worksheet to print out a different story that needs some work on its verbs and adverbs.
B a c k Start again
The
Abandoned
House
B a c k
His heart beating furiously, Miles sneaked through the undergrowth till he could make out the deserted old mansion in front of him.

He crept silently onto the porch and pushed the heavy oak door, hearing the hinges groan as it slowly opened.
B a c k
He stepped cautiously into the dark hallway, and gazed around at the portraits of long dead people starting blankly at him from the walls.

He made his way to the foot of a staircase and nervously began to climb the creaking stairs. His hands were sweating as he gripped the dusty banister to steady his faltering steps.
B a c k
Suddenly Miles felt a draft and there, looming threateningly before him, was a monster unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Its deathly white face was completely surrounded by a mane of matted hair, its eyes glowed with ghastly red glare, and from its face came an expression of pure evil.
B a c k
For a brief moment Miles was completely transfixed. Then, as he tried to run, the hideous creature flung itself at him and grabbed him viciously around the throat.

As Miles struggled desperately to escape its clutching talons, he heard the creature give a gruesome laugh. With all his strength, Miles wrenched his body free and ran from the horrifying fiend.
B a c k
Through the door and across the porch Miles flew, his breath catching painfully in his dry throat. Back through the bushes and out onto the road until he spied the welcoming lights of his own home gleaming in the cold night air.

Then he stopped and peered uncertainly back through the gloom. What was that? What exactly had he seen? Would he ever know for sure?
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The End
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